Relationships

People who say they're happier single lying

PEOPLE who say they feel happier without a relationship are lying to themselves and others, it has been confirmed.

What women want in bed, according to a man who's never bothered to ask

STRUGGLING to please a lady in bed? Never fear, for I, Stephen Malley, expert on women and sex from years of online study, can deliver you to sexual greatness.

Man still blaming his dry spell on Covid

A MAN is blaming his lack of sex on the pandemic, even though physical restrictions ended several months ago.

Couple celebrate 10 years of unequally distributed love

A COUPLE are celebrating a magical decade of him having far more affection for her than she does for him, and her being substantially out of his league.

10 easy-to-miss signs you might be hanging out with a sex trafficker

AS Prince Andrew will attest, it’s hard to tell if a friend is running a high-end sex trafficking operation. Look out for these subtle clues next time you pop round.

Making a mix-tape: the ways you came on too strong on teenage first dates

DATING as a teenager usually followed eight months of lovesick obsession, which came out by absolutely f**king things up.

Couple have baby to see if they're ready for a dog

A COUPLE have decided to try out life with a baby to see if they can handle the commitment of owning a dog.

Treacherous woman gets pregnant without telling friend first

A WOMAN is livid that her friend got pregnant without first checking with her that it was acceptable.

The wanker's guide to chatting up the new barmaid

THE new barmaid has been ignoring you so far but that’s not because you’re twice her age, she’s just playing hard to get. Here’s how to use your charms to win her round.

The Pope's guide to shagging

PEOPLE need to have more children instead of pets, according to Pope Francis. Here the 85-year-old celibate explains how to start making babies.