Relationships

Woman refuses to kiss husband because two days ago he touched bin juice

A WOMAN has banned all physical contact with her husband because he got bin juice on him 48 hours ago.

Why asking me to be your bridesmaid at the age of 38 will end our friendship

IT’S not my fault you’re getting married. I don’t see why I should be punished.

Couple having public argument selfishly refuse to provide context

A COUPLE having a loud and furious argument in public have frustratingly refused to give eavesdroppers the proper background.

Ex-girlfriend knows exactly what she’s missing, thanks

A WOMAN whose ex-boyfriend asserts she ‘doesn’t know what she’s missing’ is actually entirely aware of what she is missing and could not be happier.

Man who likes 'nights in, nights out' absolutely cleans up on dating site


A MAN who likes both 'nights in' and 'nights out' is absolutely storming it on a dating site.

Being genuinely thoughtful more effective than being a shit, claims man

A MAN has claimed that being genuinely thoughtful and kind is a better way of getting whatever he wants than plotting and manipulating.

Couple laugh about cliché of 'flat pack furniture arguments' then have massive row anyway

A COUPLE who joked about how putting IKEA furniture together would ruin their relationship now have half a Billy bookcase and hate each other's guts.

‘Shape of Water’ fish-man not much weirder than most of woman’s boyfriends

A WOMAN would not have a problem going out with a grotesque amphibious creature compared to most of the men she has dated, she has revealed.

Totally unreasonable girlfriend always wanting to do things

A MAN’S domineering girlfriend is always making him do some pointless thing like going to a local festival or trying a new balti place, it has emerged.

Man who says he’s not ‘into relationships’ not being offered any

A MAN who is constantly telling people that he ‘doesn’t do relationships’ has not actually been offered one in years, it has been revealed.