A WOMAN has banned all physical contact with her husband because he got bin juice on him 48 hours ago.
IT’S not my fault you’re getting married. I don’t see why I should be punished.
A COUPLE having a loud and furious argument in public have frustratingly refused to give eavesdroppers the proper background.
A WOMAN whose ex-boyfriend asserts she ‘doesn’t know what she’s missing’ is actually entirely aware of what she is missing and could not be happier.
A MAN who likes both 'nights in' and 'nights out' is absolutely storming it on a dating site.
A MAN has claimed that being genuinely thoughtful and kind is a better way of getting whatever he wants than plotting and manipulating.
A COUPLE who joked about how putting IKEA furniture together would ruin their relationship now have half a Billy bookcase and hate each other's guts.
A WOMAN would not have a problem going out with a grotesque amphibious creature compared to most of the men she has dated, she has revealed.
A MAN’S domineering girlfriend is always making him do some pointless thing like going to a local festival or trying a new balti place, it has emerged.
A MAN who is constantly telling people that he ‘doesn’t do relationships’ has not actually been offered one in years, it has been revealed.