Science & Technology

GOOGLE is to launch its own brand of sausages after it emerged that the most frequently asked question by internet users is "what sausage shall I eat today?"

VIRGIN is to raise the height of the seatback tray tables on its transatlantic flights by a number of inches after it emerged that love drug Viagra could now be used as a cure for jetlag. 

SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have embarked on the world's first human-animal hybrid embryo project in a bid to create Satan.

SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have developed the world's first talking road signs as a cheap alternative to satellite navigation systems.

PRINCE Philip has announced that he is 'absolutely thrilled' with his new set of balls.

EXPERTS warned of an environmental catastrophe last night after enough bullshit to fill 6.5 billion Vauxhall Zafiras poured into the Forth estuary.

RISING CO2 levels will cause statues to come to life and wreak blood-thirsty revenge on their human tormentors, scientists warned today.

SCIENTISTS at Dundee University have patented what they claim is the world's first self-hoovering floor.

RESEARCHERS last night claimed they had discovered a gene which increases people’s propensity to launch enquiries into the bleeding obvious.