Science & Technology

EARLY man often indulged in intolerable behaviour similar to that of modern-day pricks, it has emerged.

HOPES of intelligent life on planet Gliese 581g were dashed yesterday as scientists revealed it is actually a bit like Sunderland.

GOOGLE'S new Instant search engine means consumers can finally start using the fraction of a second it used to take them to get a result.

THE creation of the universe did not involve even the tiniest bit of chocolate, according to Professor Stephen Hawking.

MOST people are convinced that the view from their living room is a 2D image made of pixels.

FACEBOOK was last night accused of attacking freedom of speech after it pledged to stop you calling someone a 'Nazi fucking cocksucker' because they don't like Christian Bale as Batman.

AWARD-winnning atheist Richard Dawkins was last night remaining tight-lipped on the issue of fairies, insisting he 'does not speak of such things'.

FREAK wrangler Simon Cowell may have eaten meat from one of his clones, it emerged last night.

FRIENDS of face transplant man Tom Logan last night warned that his plans for a massive sex binge may be a tad optimistic. 

EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS could already be bombarding the Earth with short bursts of self-promoting drivel, it was claimed last night.