Science & Technology

Aliens A Bit Like Lily Allen, Say Experts

EXTRA-TERRESTRIALS could already be bombarding the Earth with short bursts of self-promoting drivel, it was claimed last night.

Stonehenge May Have Been A Henge Showroom, Say Experts

THE discovery of a second henge at Stonehenge has led to claims that the site may have been a showroom for henges.

Pope Says Child Abuse The Same As Using The Wrong Cutlery

SEXUALLY abusing a child is as sinful as eating soup with a dessert spoon, Pope Benedict confirmed last night.

Norfolk Tools Date Back To 1938

HUMANS in East Anglia may have been using tools as early as just before the Second World War, it has emerged.

Millions More Old People Using The Internet Despite Not Liking It

THE number of OAPs discovering the internet, deciding they don't like it and then continuing to use it anyway has increased, according to new research.

Apple Forgot To Hold iPhone Before Putting It In The Shops

APPLE has admitted it forgot to check its new mobile phone worked before shipping millions of them to stores around the globe.

Light Sabres Potentially Deadly But Also Incredibly Cool, Say Experts

POWERFUL light sabres sold online could be lethal but are nevertheless amazing, according to experts.

I'd Play God, Says Everyone

AS scientists created artificial life for the first time, people across Britain said if it was them they would be playing God like it was going out of fashion.

Pretend Blackberry Obsession Rockets

MANY Blackberry owners are pretending to fixate on the gadget as an excuse for ignoring their tiresome, bleating partners, it was claimed last night.

Are Volcanoes Caused By Skanks?

AS air travel resumes across Europe attention has shifted to the cause of volcanic ash, with many people fingering skanks.