Society

The UK has collectively realised that it is August bank holiday and that miserable three months just past was its f**king summer.

THE Brummie accent is no longer a viable means of preventing pregnancy following the success of the BBC show Peaky Blinders.

BRITONS are kept angry and fearful like the government wants them by endless controversy. Let’s obsess about these next.

HOMELESS people on the South Coast are to be given large fines for vagrancy because whether it is £20 or £20 million makes bugger all difference.

THIS year’s most popular baby names have been released with the usual strange choices like Kylo. Here’s how to curse your child with a daft name you think is great.

LIVID because woke millennials have pointed out your favourite National Trust property has links to slavery? Here’s how to rebrand your fury as opposition to ‘cultural vandalism’.

ARE you a bloodyminded parent who loves a good row with your local school? Make the most of your little ones going back with these tips.

AS A senior Conservative, my knowledge of viral transmission is greater than any mere epidemiologist. Here’s why opening schools is perfectly safe.

STRUGGLING to make it through the last week of the summer holidays? These effective time-wasting activities should push you over the finish line.

THE events of this year mean it will be remembered in our language for centuries to come. Which of our new idioms will the future puzzle over?