Society

ARE you fiercely proud of your regional identity even though it’s totally arbitrary and extremely tedious? Here’s how to be a twat about it.

A PENSIONER who cannot bring herself to say even the mildest swear words has no problem with rounding people up and deporting them.

ARE you in the army but sometimes feel you’re doing things that might be considered ‘wrong’ or ‘mental’? Here are some activities to avoid.

A MAN uses the Screwfix catalogue to find reliable shelf brackets and answers to the great mysteries of life, it has emerged.

A MAN who came up with the most idiotic possible way out of the Brexit crisis has realised it will without doubt be what the government does next. 

MPs will today hold a second series of indicative votes on Brexit and hello? Are you still there?

A CHILD who has been put on the naughty step to think about what he has done is instead planning how to destroy his parents utterly.

A MUM whose family brought her breakfast in bed for Mother's Day would quite like them all to fuck off and leave her to eat it in peace.

AN odd-looking fucker has commandeered an entire four-seater table for himself in an absolutely rammed café.

A WOMAN spotted singing heartily along to music in her car now has no option but to complete the song, she has confirmed.