Society

HAVE you got a friend who’s buying a house and won’t stop banging on about it? Here are some tactics to stop them droning on for a bit.

A MAN’S haircut ended just moments before he would have been forced to agree with a morally indefensible statement by his hairdresser, he has confirmed.

ADULTS have been urged to stop making up meaningless compound swear words like 'arsebucket' and 'tossgerbil'.

A MAN who held the lift door for a colleague is acting like a selfless hero, it has been confirmed.

LORRY drivers have confirmed they love these new four-lane smart motorways because now they can block three lanes at once.

THE best way to cut down time and effort spent on cleaning is to fuck it off and do something else, experts have confirmed.

HAVE you just told a massive lie or said something horribly offensive? Just say you misspoke and all will be forgiven. Here's how to do it.

COULD angry suburban men on the internet hold the key to tackling crime? Here retired accountant Norman Steele outlines his no-nonsense measures.

HAVE you somehow got the impression that busy trains are your bathroom or GP’s surgery? Here are some overly personal things you really should stop doing.

THE cities of Bristol and Brighton have been discovered to be a single place.