Society

BEING Northern isn’t a geographical thing - it’s a state of mind. Whether you live in Sheffield, Shelby or Skipton, here’s how not to be a soft Southern ponce.

DRIVERS who have had their licences for 50 years or more are only to be allowed to drive between the hours of 11pm and 6am. 

IT’S traditional for school reunions to only be attended by people you didn’t like. So which tossers from the past can you expect to see?

CHILDREN are unexpectedly appearing at the school gates with a full year’s worth of books, artwork, homework and all the other crap, parents have confirmed.

A TRACTOR driver holding up a long queue of traffic on an A-road has admitted he is absolutely f**king loving it.

A POP psychology book has really helped a woman unburden herself of her trivial, tedious problems to everyone she meets.

FILLED with hate? Directing it at vulnerable targets? You could be a neo-Nazi, or you could be kicking out at the world because Darren Jackson always got picked before you at football.

HELLO. I’m Tommy Robinson, like the jam that used to have golliwogs on and they should bring back. But did you know our legal system is biased against white people? Here’s how.

ARE you an antisocial public transport user? If so, summer provides some excellent opportunities to antagonise people. Here are some ideas.

A WHITE man with dreadlocks assumed to be the trust-fund type was instead the hard dog-on-a-rope kind, a shaken man has confirmed.