Society

A MAN is completely certain that everyone apart from him drives like a total w*nker, it has emerged.

A MAN who says “I’m not being funny” is never about to say something funny and is just going to be an unpleasant dick about something.

BRITAIN should be grey and wet to the touch, but sometimes, against all logic, it isn’t. Here’s how to cope with the wrong weather:

A MAN inspired by Boris Johnson is to try to solve every problem he faces today with nothing more than sheer optimism.

TOMORROW, and perhaps for years to come, you will be the resident of a country led by a truffle-snuffling entitled toddler. Here’s how to spend the final day without him.

THE audience for Question Time is the main reason Britain is so f*cked right now, research has confirmed.

A YORKSHIREMAN has confirmed he has no problem with anyone translating his sentences into Southerner-approved English.

A COUPLE’S pet dog is lying at their feet and deciding which of them he would kill and eat if he had absolutely no option.

DO you fancy being being popular down the pub by spouting idiotic crowd-pleasing opinions? Here are some great ones to try.

A TEENAGER has committed a terrible faux pas by forgetting to include the word ‘legit’ in a text message.