Society

JESUS has reminded everyone that his Easter was more about getting crucified than enjoying chocolatey treats.

A DOG is paranoid that he overstepped the mark by running up to another dog and sniffing its anus.

MEMBERS of the most intelligent species on the planet have spent 40 minutes waiting at a bus stop that has been out of use for months.

EVERYONE who keeps banging on furiously about campus free speech left university at least 25 years ago, it has emerged.

A SCREAMING baby is just saying what everyone is thinking, it has been confirmed.

A WOMAN has been left confused after receiving a fucking Easter card from her aunt. 

A MAN who affects an air of mystery is actually just a dick, it has been confirmed.

A COUPLE are filling their new home with carefully-selected items from a little shop called IKEA.

INTERNATIONAL Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone Day has proved more successful than International Happiness Day or World Poetry Day, it has emerged.

A MAN has arrived at his office job to find that he has lost an entire decade of the only life he will ever have.