Society

A STRESSED woman is certain that a very strong coffee will make her feel more relaxed.

A WOMAN is overjoyed at being described as 'low-maintenance'.

A GROUP of high-ranking London twats has met to discuss which provincial towns they can move to and ruin.

A MAN is oddly proud of himself after eating three reduced priced Easter Eggs in just over an hour.

A WOMAN has apparently taken it upon herself to find the most inappropriate places possible to take a baby, it has been confirmed.

A GROUP of friends are considering murdering a couple who keep going on about their slow internet connection.  

A NEW couple have vowed they will never turn into one of those awful couples who snap and shout at each other.  

A SALES assistant gives the impression he might turn violent if people do not buy the mobile phone he wants them to.  

A NEWLYWED couple who spent £25,000 on their wedding want someone to give them money for a house.

WOMEN’S pay is lagging decades behind men’s to remind them of when they were younger, bosses have claimed.