Society

EXPERTS warning of a fall in house prices should be treated like wise sages while everyone else is ignored, Britain has decided.

A WOMAN is convinced her donations to a charity shop are bringing joy to others, despite them just being rubbish she wants out of the house.

I BELIEVE now is the time to address the issue of A-levels being stupid bullshit, which has nothing to do with my somewhat underwhelming results of D, E, E and U.

A WOMAN dressing her dog up in human outfits is not doing too well, she has confirmed.

COLLEAGUES of a woman who is basically a slave to a vast evil corporation run by bastards have asked her why she’s being a bit moody.

PAIN-IN-THE-ARSE hotel guests are to be rated out of five in an attempt to improve the standard of their visits.

CHILDREN have been told to take it down a few notches and stop being so bloody melodramatic.

A MAN doing a challenge for charity has really raised people’s awareness of how excellent he is.

ISLAMIC women’s clothing is somehow having a terrible effect on a white, mostly atheist family in Cheshire.

A MAN has admitted to chucking semi colons into emails willy-nilly without knowing what he is doing and just crossing his fingers that they are in the right place.