Society

The bellend’s guide to nights out

EVERYONE loves pubbing and clubbing at the weekend, but are you doing it in a way that causes maximum aggravation for fellow revellers? Follow our guide.

Friday booked off by devious little shits

PEOPLE who booked Friday off work are cackling like maniacs at the success of their scheme.

Family discovers 'will of the people' is terrible way to make decisions

A FAMILY of two adults and three small children are regretting putting all household decisions to a simple majority vote.

Woman who didn't have a lighter to lend stranger feels like a failure

A WOMAN who was asked for a light but did not have one now feels like an utter failure, she has confirmed.

Self-employed woman goes to weird pretend office with total strangers

A WOMAN who could work at home rents a desk in a building full of strangers instead, it has emerged.

Man reckons he is a good dancer

A MAN has decided he dances with both flair and skill.

Common people have baby

A COMMON couple are celebrating the birth of their third child.

Office bastards set air conditioning to ‘freezing’ for next six months

THE annual conflict over what temperature the air conditioning should be set at has begun in offices across Britain.  

What will be in Prince William’s best man speech?

Let’s face it, Prince William’s best man speech has pretty much written itself. Here are some likely extracts.

Man now desperate for Brexit news after day two of 'rich woman fires out quite large baby'

AFTER two days of 'posh woman has the baby', a man has realised he actually misses news about Brexit.