Society

DICTIONARIES have admitted defeat and announced that from now on ‘lose’ will be spelt ‘loose’.  

THE high price of lattes and mochas is causing Britons to ‘pre-load’ on coffee at home before going to cafes.  

DO you find yourself losing arguments due to being wrong or thick? Just follow our guide and pretend you’ve emerged victorious.  

A FAMILY is trying to work out why none of them want to touch the hard-boiled sweets in a bowl at their gran’s house.

A WOMAN committed to finding a deeper meaning in life does so in extreme luxury with numerous trips to exotic places, it has emerged.

A MAN who covered up the logo on his laptop is definitely sticking it to the man, he has confirmed.

A WOMAN who thought adult life would be exciting spends more time smelling things before putting them in the washing machine than she would like.

A STRESSED woman is certain that a very strong coffee will make her feel more relaxed.

A WOMAN is overjoyed at being described as 'low-maintenance'.

A GROUP of high-ranking London twats has met to discuss which provincial towns they can move to and ruin.