Society
THE UK is lamenting the start of Crocs season.
A WOMAN is panicking after finding out that her hairdresser is under no legal or ethical obligation to keep their conversations confidential.
A MAN carrying flowers has prompted speculation about whether he is a sensitive romantic or a lying, cheating sack of shit.
A WOMAN who already pressed the crossing button is annoyed at a second woman for pressing it again.
A HIPSTER has disgusted even himself with his latest affectation of smoking a pipe.
A MARRIED couple have admitted their evening out yesterday was a let-down compared to that time in 2002.
AN absolute lad wearing a football shirt thinks some people wearing Harry Potter robes are pathetic, it has been confirmed.
A TEENAGER whose life is a round of computer games and idle internet fixations is oblivious to the Victorian-style workplace hell that awaits him, it has emerged.
A BUILDER has raised £1,000 for charity by doing an eight-hour day without buggering off to the pub, it has been confirmed.
A MAN is celebrating a pay rise by buying slightly more costly versions of the same boring things, it has been confirmed.