Society

A 16-YEAR-OLD taking his GCSEs is confident that these are just mocks or a practice or something like that.

A MAN has reluctantly taken the word 'junglist' out of his dating profile.

BOOZY Club 18-30 package holidays are being updated for introspective, self-obsessed millennials, it has been confirmed.

EVERYONE in every conversation is actually just waiting for the other person to shut up so they can talk, research has found.

A QUIRKY woman who bought a Fiat 500 to prove her individuality drove past 11 similar cars while taking it home, it has emerged.

PEOPLE who coerce others into doing things outside of their 'comfort zone' have been told to fuck off. 

SECONDARY schoolchildren across the UK have confirmed that despite this modern internet age they still look up rude words in the dictionary.

BUILDERS’ blokey behaviour is put on to disguise their pretentious cultural interests, it has emerged.  

THE government has been criticised for giving all £50m of its new schools funding to the elitist institution Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

ANYONE who says ‘We were just talking about you’ has definitely just been laughing about your failings as a human being.