Society

A 24-YEAR-OLD has applauded a new plan to give her £10,000 and promised not to waste it on drugs, holidays, and drugs on holiday.

A DRINK at a local pub has been arranged without being discussed at length via a moronic Whatsapp group.

A COUPLE only see their friends so they can slag them off on the drive home, they have admitted.

A WOMAN does not actually have to give her candid opinion in a blunt and tactless way, it has emerged.

BRITONS are only able to express their true emotional state when a pub worker drops a tray of glasses, it has been confirmed.

A FOUR-YEAR-OLD who wanted a pet has been bought a goldfish as a stop-gap measure.

A VISIBLY moved pensioner has welcomed Britain’s new-found tolerance of bigoted attitudes.  

EVERYONE loves pubbing and clubbing at the weekend, but are you doing it in a way that causes maximum aggravation for fellow revellers? Follow our guide.

PEOPLE who booked Friday off work are cackling like maniacs at the success of their scheme.

A FAMILY of two adults and three small children are regretting putting all household decisions to a simple majority vote.