Society

EVERYONE in every conversation is actually just waiting for the other person to shut up so they can talk, research has found.

A QUIRKY woman who bought a Fiat 500 to prove her individuality drove past 11 similar cars while taking it home, it has emerged.

PEOPLE who coerce others into doing things outside of their 'comfort zone' have been told to fuck off. 

SECONDARY schoolchildren across the UK have confirmed that despite this modern internet age they still look up rude words in the dictionary.

BUILDERS’ blokey behaviour is put on to disguise their pretentious cultural interests, it has emerged.  

THE government has been criticised for giving all £50m of its new schools funding to the elitist institution Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

ANYONE who says ‘We were just talking about you’ has definitely just been laughing about your failings as a human being.  

A DRIVER who overtakes as if he is in the Grand Prix invariably ends up at traffic lights just two cars ahead of people he has overtaken.  

AN attractive show-off is forcing her less sexy colleagues to do a naked charity stunt, it has emerged.  

ARE you a tiresome fucker with strong opinions on everything from higher education to pet care, despite knowing nothing about them? Take our quiz and find out.