Society

THE Department of Education has confirmed that traditional English V-signs will be added to the National Curriculum to preserve our country’s heritage.

EVERYBODY in a business meeting was thinking about sex, it has emerged.

A PUB has been reduced to rubble after its landlord decided to host an Oxbridge improv group instead of showing England's World Cup game.

A MAN has offered to help his friend move house so he can hold it against him forever, he has confirmed.

BRITAIN'S grandmothers are squinting and demanding to know what the words on your t-shirt mean.

DADS at school sports days across the UK are watching their dreams of raising a wealthy athlete wither and die.

A MAN is increasingly convinced that more than 10 years of his life have somehow passed too quickly, he has revealed.

A MIDDLE class family is excited to enter the social strata of people who pay to have their children’s schoolwork done for them.

A WOMAN who has a baby is being called ‘Mum’ by all medical professionals, family members, friends and strangers.

MEN who insist on dressing provocatively by wearing kilts are basically inviting people to stick cameras up them, it has been claimed.