Society

IT’S traditional to be a bellend during your time at university, so here are the real essentials to take with you.

BRITONS are struggling to understand why good economic news keeps coming out but their personal finances are still up shit creek.

THE first university that is honest about being a bit shit has opened with a poorly-organised ceremony.

A MAN who got himself a dog to attract attention from women in the park is the last kind of person who should be looking after an animal, it has been confirmed.

PARENTS are forcing their children to not mention telly, computer games or grab bags of sweets in their 'what I did this summer' essays, it has emerged.

MIDDLE-AGED drinkers have been urged to have drink-free days where they just use MDMA or magic mushrooms. 

A LOCAL hard family has confirmed plans for a day of petty crime and pointless antagonism.

A COUPLE who spent a weekend at a boutique hipster hotel had a wonderful time feeling awkward and out-of-place.

IN the busy, modern world it can be hard to tell if you're living like an actual grown up with their own place of residence or if you still live with your mum and dad, like a toddler.

A MAN is obsessed with using the expression ‘nailed it’ even when it is totally inappropriate, it has emerged.