Society

PEOPLE who are not interested in football have emerged from their underground shelters.

PASSENGERS on a train are rejoicing after a man desperately running to catch it failed to do so.

A WELSH football fan seems unwilling to join in with the English celebrations during the World Cup, leaving co-workers baffled.

A WOMAN getting a tattoo is absolutely sure she will regard it with thinly-concealed regret until she is old and grey, she has confirmed.

A MAN is cooking at a barbecue to avoid doing anything other than stand near hot meat drinking beer.

MOST social events are just people making loud noises at each other, experts have confirmed.

THE number of people outside enjoying the hot weather as opposed to slaving in a sweltering workplace is virtually nil.

A CLASS of five-year-olds have been taken on a pitiful school trip that really was not worth the effort.

We’ve all asked ourselves - am I a regular twat or just a fan of the ridiculously upper-class sport polo? Take our test and find out.

NAIVE young people across the UK are thankful they are now permanently free from stress because their A-Levels are over.