Society

THE annual festival of whinging about premature displays of Christmas goods in shops is getting earlier every year, it has been confirmed.

A MAN asked to 'move down' a packed tube carriage has pointed out there was nowhere for him to go without becoming extremely intimate with other people.

A CYCLIST approaching a busy city crossing decided to regard a red light as advice to bear in mind rather than an order to stop.

A MAN who painstakingly built a Thunderbirds Tracy Island is still pissed off with his mum for dumping it during a ‘clear out’ three years ago.

A YOUNG woman whose life is bursting with possibility plans to spend the next sixty years obsessing over minor social interactions.

EIGHT-YEAR-OLDS have informed their parents that every class has at least one Jayden but they have never heard of anyone called Paul.

SCIENTISTS have found the one man in the world using a protective car cover who isn't a complete and utter twat.

A COMPLETE oddball wants to see his colleagues socially, outside of working hours, even though he’s not being paid to do so, it has emerged.

A RELAXED attitude to whether you love people is unacceptable, boyfriends have discovered.

A NORTHERNER visiting London has caused chaos after attempting to pay a bus driver with exact change.