Society

WEARING a poppy isn’t just about showing your respect, it’s also a chance for idiots to enjoy feeling furious. Here are some ‘controversies’ to get het up about.

A WEAKLING has turned his heating on before it has even hit November, it has emerged.

HAVE you risen to become part of the middle classes from earthy origins? Do you need to remind people of that at every opportunity? Here’s how.

TRANSPORT chiefs have confirmed that watching pornography on the bus is unacceptable unless it is a rail replacement bus.

A WOMAN has expressed deep concern after noticing a long list of real ale forums in her husbands internet search history.

A MAN has stumbled across a shoe suitable for a regular human being at TK Maxx.

FAILING to post a photo of every single vaguely pleasant moment of your life does not mean you are not having a good time, it has emerged.

A WELL-TO-DO man has amazed friends by being able to communicate with his builders as easily as if they were from his own social class.

A SINGLE dog turd has outmatched all predecessors by ruining the days of 18 different people.

A MAN has started another stupid fucking waste of time, he has confirmed.