Society

Millennials 'too self-righteous to have sex'

MILLENNIALS are too busy penning scathing comment pieces about how angry they are at baby boomers to have sex, a new study has found.

Brexiters told to try walking away with 'no deal' in everyday life and see how that works for them

BREXITERS keen on leaving the EU with no deal have been told to try walking away without a deal in their personal transactions and then report back. 

Amnesty International secures release of Coco, the Coco Pops monkey

COCO the Coco Pops monkey has been freed, emaciated and blinking at the light, by campaigners from Amnesty International. 

Man who argued with cretins online forgot he didn't have to

A MAN who spent ages arguing with idiots online had forgotten that he does not actually need to do that.  

Getting out of bed 'against all natural instincts'

BRITONS must currently overcome 43 separate instincts in order to leave their beds, it has emerged.

Commuters get to work quicker than usual by walking along the tracks

RAIL victims have had a more efficient journey to work than normal by just walking along the tracks.

Nice couple sound like murderers when discussing their inheritance

A PLEASANT couple suddenly become very cold and calculating when talking about their elderly parents’ deaths, friends have revealed.

The mum's guide to pretending your child is not a total little bastard

AS the parent of a toddler, do you feel your little angel can do no wrong? Here are some great ways of convincing people your child is not the embodiment of evil.

Having children in late thirties linked to enjoying more of your thirties

WOMEN who delay motherhood until their late thirties face an increased risk of having more years of freedom and fun, according to researchers.

Sadomasochistic train company asks 'how did we do?'

A HELLISH, self-loathing train company has emailed its passengers asking to be told just how shit they are.