Society

A FIRST-YEAR student is assuming that any bus he cares to board will take him into the city centre.

A FATHER has abandoned plans to wear a ‘papoose’ baby carrier because it is ‘very badly designed’.

A NEW delivery service from Waitrose will bring your groceries into your house and pity you for your shallow, petit bourgeois aspirations.

DO you sometimes need to make a complaint but hate direct conflict like most British people? Here’s how to do it in a pathetic, passive-aggressive way.

A MAN who thinks he keeps winning arguments actually just shouts over everyone else until they give up.  

A WOMAN who survived summer without ‘must-have’ items of clothing also plans to brave the winter with clothes she already owns.

A UNIVERSITY fresher has no idea how he became best friends with the first student he spoke to.

A MIDDLE-AGED mother has responded with terrifying ferocity after someone tried to throw away a ramekin.

A MAN who owns a BMW somehow managed to take up two urinals, it has emerged.

BRITONS believe Londoners are ‘arrogant’ and ‘insular’, according to a recent survey. So if you’re into idiotic regional prejudice, who else can you hate? Here are some suggestions.