Society

End of school holidays fills roads with bastards again

THE end of the six-week summer holiday has seen peaceable, happy commuters turn back into a bunch of psychotic bastards again.

Pub-goers horrified as man openly orders hot drink

DRINKERS at a normal pub have been left shocked after a man brazenly ordered a hot drink.

Your guide to the latest confusing euphemisms for sex

WITH new sex slang popping up every day, are you up-to-date? Read our guide.

Man will never be as happy as when he had a Black Widow catapult

A MIDDLE-AGED dad has realised he will never recreate the joy of owning a dangerous catapult .

Londoners moving up north for better quality of being loathed

LONDON residents are moving in numbers to the north and Midlands in search of a simpler, purer way of being generally disliked.

Couple solve all their problems by having a baby

A COUPLE have permanently solved all of their relationship issues by having a baby, it has emerged.

Five ways to say 'I told you so' while being a passive-aggressive dick about it

NOBODY likes to hear ‘I told you so’, but everyone loves finding a way to say it.  

Frantic dad runs out into traffic to warn people about the M5

A DESPERATE middle-aged man is stopping traffic and banging on bonnets to warn innocent motorists about the traffic that awaits them on the M5.

Dreadful family having loud conversations about bodily functions in public

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple spent a day out loudly asking their children whether they needed a wee or a poo in front of other people.