Society

A MAN who owns a BMW somehow managed to take up two urinals, it has emerged.

BRITONS believe Londoners are ‘arrogant’ and ‘insular’, according to a recent survey. So if you’re into idiotic regional prejudice, who else can you hate? Here are some suggestions.

A MOTHER has perfected a way of enquiring about her children’s careers that implies they’ve completely arsed their lives up, it has emerged.

A MAN has been laughing at old photos of himself, completely unaware he is still an utter twat.  

A WOMAN has discovered that the Twitter hashtag '#metoo' is not meant for just generally agreeing with things.

A MAN who has been barked at by terrified dogs every time they see him for 15 years is wondering if he is actually the Antichrist.

DOES that West Country twang make people think you’re as sexy as the Cadbury Caramel bunny, or a comedy bumpkin off The Two Ronnies? Find out with our guide.

A COUPLE have decided to be brutally honest about not wanting a load of little bastards at their wedding.

A 28-YEAR-OLD man has emerged as the wry, ballsy hero of his own story yet again.

A THREATENED joint Wetherspoon-McDonald's strike could make the UK a decent place to live, experts have warned.