Society

AS the parent of a toddler, do you feel your little angel can do no wrong? Here are some great ways of convincing people your child is not the embodiment of evil.

WOMEN who delay motherhood until their late thirties face an increased risk of having more years of freedom and fun, according to researchers.

A HELLISH, self-loathing train company has emailed its passengers asking to be told just how shit they are.

A MAN keeps getting taken in by ‘fake news’ that is obviously dodgy to anyone with a semi-functioning brain.

A FASCIST is beginning to suspect there are no opportunities for promotion or earning a decent salary in Britain’s neo-Nazi movement.

A BRITISH patriot is offended there are not poppies for dogs or offended that no dogs are wearing them, whichever should turn out to be the case.

A LEARNER driver cannot wait to ditch the bullshit ten-to-two hand position.

BABIES who are ‘teething’ are actually possessed by evil demons sent from hell, experts have confirmed.

DRIVERS should pay for their fuel at the pump, fill up their cars and then get the hell out of there instead of pissing about for fucking ages, Britain has confirmed.

A FATHER believes that his three-year-old son, who watches Japanese cartoons on Netflix and prefers sesame snacks to a Freddo, is a hipster.