Society

SCIENTISTS have found the one man in the world using a protective car cover who isn't a complete and utter twat.

A COMPLETE oddball wants to see his colleagues socially, outside of working hours, even though he’s not being paid to do so, it has emerged.

A RELAXED attitude to whether you love people is unacceptable, boyfriends have discovered.

A NORTHERNER visiting London has caused chaos after attempting to pay a bus driver with exact change.

CHILDREN at a Sunday school are asking their vicar more and more difficult questions about the Bible, none of which he seems able to answer.

THE apostrophe has been added to the list of endangered species in the UK.

A MAN whose last fight was at primary school against a smaller boy believes he still has what it takes if shit went down.

A LIFELONG campaigner for gay rights has admitted he never expected the battle to become quite so cake-focused.

MOST of Britain is struggling to understand why a £6.8bn tunnel is being built to link Kent and Essex as the two are essentially identical. 

A YOUNG couple are celebrating taking out a terrifyingly huge loan that they will be paying off for the rest of their lives.