Society

PARENTS are forcing their children to not mention telly, computer games or grab bags of sweets in their 'what I did this summer' essays, it has emerged.

MIDDLE-AGED drinkers have been urged to have drink-free days where they just use MDMA or magic mushrooms. 

A LOCAL hard family has confirmed plans for a day of petty crime and pointless antagonism.

A COUPLE who spent a weekend at a boutique hipster hotel had a wonderful time feeling awkward and out-of-place.

IN the busy, modern world it can be hard to tell if you're living like an actual grown up with their own place of residence or if you still live with your mum and dad, like a toddler.

A MAN is obsessed with using the expression ‘nailed it’ even when it is totally inappropriate, it has emerged.

A CROWDED train is the ideal place to unpack a massive picnic or sort out a business deal, idiots believe.

A MUM has baffled scientists by learning to tell a story in a clear and concise way.

A DRIVER is so brilliant at controlling a car he knows exactly how fast he can go without crashing or mowing people down.

A WOMAN going through a rough time cannot believe how quickly a friend hijacked the conversation and made it all about their own problems.