Society

HAVE you totally bollocksed your life up? Don’t worry, there’s loads of stuff you can blame for your mistakes! Read our guide and feel a whole lot better about yourself.

A MAN has realised it is June shortly followed by July which means he will have to go to loads of fucking weddings.

A MAN who claims to be 'a bit of a Luddite' is actually more a gobshite, it has emerged.

THE summer half-term break has provided parents with an insight into the horror show of looking after their children for a full six weeks.

A MAN who won £5.3 million in last week’s National Lottery has spent the lot taking himself and his family for a week in a Nottingham Center Parcs. 

A MAN queuing at a cafe has realised too late that it only sells vegan things which taste unpleasant.

A MAN has realised that literally every action he takes is against his own better judgement.

A MIDDLE-AGED man feels illogically threatened by 13-year-olds larking about on BMXs as if they might do something terrible to him.

A CHILD who thought his parents were all-knowing, god-like beings has realised they are idiots.

AN URBAN homeowner is insisting he loves the graffiti that has appeared on his wall.