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Woman who already pressed button at crossing annoyed at other woman pressing it

A WOMAN who already pressed the crossing button is annoyed at a second woman for pressing it again.

Hipster with pipe admits he has gone too far this time

A HIPSTER has disgusted even himself with his latest affectation of smoking a pipe.

Married couple's night out not as good as their last one in 2005

A MARRIED couple have admitted their evening out yesterday was a let-down compared to that time in 2005.

Lad in football shirt makes fun of nerds in Harry Potter robes 


AN absolute lad wearing a football shirt thinks some people wearing Harry Potter robes are pathetic, it has been confirmed.

21st-century teenager has no idea of 19th-century workplace awaiting him

A TEENAGER whose life is a round of computer games and idle internet fixations is oblivious to the Victorian-style workplace hell that awaits him, it has emerged.

Builder does eight-hour day for charity

A BUILDER has raised £1,000 for charity by doing an eight-hour day without buggering off to the pub, it has been confirmed.

Man celebrates pay rise by choosing slightly more expensive version of everything for the rest of his life

A MAN is celebrating a pay rise by buying slightly more costly versions of the same boring things, it has been confirmed.

Couple leaving 'honeymoon phase' realise they have no friends left

A NEW couple just leaving the 'honeymoon phase' of their relationship are realising that they have no friends left.

Man puts massive donation on JustGiving page so everyone knows he's loaded

A MAN doesn't give a shit about his friend's sponsored swim but just wants everyone to know he's got loads of cash, he has confirmed.

Parks haunted by mirage of pretty girls playing good-natured game of rounders

BRITAIN’S parks have once again been visited by mythical laughing girls inviting men to join them for a light-hearted rounders match.