Society

A MAN has convinced himself a woman fancies him based on extremely flimsy evidence.

THE UK has concluded that, based on Boris Johnson and other Old Etonians, the supposedly elite school is actually turning out thick twats.

A COUPLE who bought a house in an affordable-but-shit area are trying to convince themselves it’s great.

A CHILD described as ‘cheeky’ is actually a menace to everyone around him, it has been confirmed.

A NEW mum's entire life has been taken over by a Whatsapp group about baby buggies, it has emerged.

A NORTHERN Dad has pretended he forgot that his son asked for a glass of red wine in their local pub and just bought him a pint instead.

YOU are never more than six feet away from a bloke called Dave, researchers have discovered.

ONE of the most fantastic things about getting old is being spoken to like a child, pensioners have confirmed.

A COAT hanger from Marks & Spencer is distraught after it was used to unblock a toilet.  

MODERN train seats have been made purposefully hard and uncomfortable so that arriving in the office seems like an escape from hell.