Society

Mother-in-law a 'fascist nightmare on gak' until babysitter needed

A WOMAN'S mother-in-law is basically a Nazi on speed until the babysitter cancels and a quick replacement is needed, it has been confirmed.

'Funny' friend in group actually just very loud

The 'funniest' one in a group of friends is actually just being much louder than everyone else, it has been confirmed.

Northern cafes compete over most disgusting sounding breakfast

LOCAL cafes in the North of England are competing over who has the most revolting sounding breakfast.

Woman realises her entire romantic life has been making herself laugh in front of boring men

A WOMAN has realised her entire love life has just been her enjoying her own company in front of a succession of tedious men.

Woman sure that drunkenly trimming her own fringe will end well

A WOMAN has made the drunken decision that she can trim her own fringe just as well as any fancy hairdresser.

Oh just f**k off, say women

WOMEN sick of being criticised for all of their life choices, have told everyone to go fuck themselves.

‘It’s really the kids who teach me’ says clearly unqualified teacher

A SCHOOL is investigating a teacher who said he ‘learns more from the kids’ than they do from him, amid fears he is completely unqualified.  

Giving Murdoch total control of UK for last 40 years ‘not in public interest’, says watchdog 


A MEDIA watchdog has ruled that giving a rabid Australian complete control of Britain for the last four decades was not in the public interest.

Teenager in suspiciously good mood

A TEENAGER has aroused the suspicion of his parents after emerging from his bedroom in an uncharacteristically good mood.

'Are you looking forward to the Royal weddings?' asks woman who assumes you have a melon for a brain

A WOMAN who assumes her colleague has a melon for a brain has asked her if she is looking forward to the Royal Weddings.