Society

A WARHAMMER dwarf has been struggling to make conversation after being mistakenly tidied away in the same shoebox as the Bear Family of Sylvania.

A WELL-PAID worker has admitted his job essentially consists of him just formatting Word documents, it’s been revealed.

A MAN who keeps talking about ‘living in the present’ is actually just really fucking skint, it has been confirmed.

THE doorway is the best place to stand so that you block everyone's exit, according to toddlers.

A WOMAN has managed to create a lavish dinner comprised entirely of the food remnants collected in her bra during the day.

A COUPLE who spent all day cleaning their house have pretended they think it’s like a pig sty.

A MAN has taken down capitalism by adding an expensive smoothie to his Boots Meal Deal, it has been confirmed.

A FATHER has switched on his mobile phone and then immediately switched it off again ‘to save the battery’, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have recognised that their conversation is now mainly about what to eat for their tea.

A WOMAN is certain that a radical new hair colour will solve all her problems, it has emerged.