Society

A MAN who affects an air of mystery is actually just a dick, it has been confirmed.

A COUPLE are filling their new home with carefully-selected items from a little shop called IKEA.

INTERNATIONAL Fuck Off and Leave Me Alone Day has proved more successful than International Happiness Day or World Poetry Day, it has emerged.

A MAN has arrived at his office job to find that he has lost an entire decade of the only life he will ever have.

A TEN year old boy doesn't know what he did to deserve being punished with a day out to a really old fucking town in the middle of nowhere.

AN ABSOLUTE psychopath has confirmed he puts his socks on before his pants.

A 64-YEAR-OLD drinking her way through retirement has informed millennials that the reason they are not doing better is because of their poor social skills.

AN EX-LONDON couple are very excited after a brief exchange with working class locals in their new area.

NURSES will get a six per cent pay rise on the condition that they also do the job of the Fire Service, the government has announced.

MARK Zuckerberg has closed down Facebook and opened a creepy little shop that has exactly what you most desire.