Society

THE doorway is the best place to stand so that you block everyone's exit, according to toddlers.

A WOMAN has managed to create a lavish dinner comprised entirely of the food remnants collected in her bra during the day.

A COUPLE who spent all day cleaning their house have pretended they think it’s like a pig sty.

A MAN has taken down capitalism by adding an expensive smoothie to his Boots Meal Deal, it has been confirmed.

A FATHER has switched on his mobile phone and then immediately switched it off again ‘to save the battery’, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have recognised that their conversation is now mainly about what to eat for their tea.

A WOMAN is certain that a radical new hair colour will solve all her problems, it has emerged.

A MAN who believes in total gender equality takes every available opportunity to mention it.

LONDON estate agents can see no reason why depressing bedsits in Clapham are not meeting their £1m valuations. 

THE last person to still use two spaces after a full stop has died, it has been confirmed.