Society

A MUM who ‘popped out for milk’ is secretly enjoying a half-hour weekend mini-break in her car outside Tesco.

MEN will never know the transcendent joy of removing a bra at the end of a very long day, woman have confirmed.

MEN are no longer growing Movember moustaches for charity because they all have entirely serious moustaches already.

REMEMBRANCE Day poppies must be worn to be visible from any angle to avoid disrespecting the fallen, the Poppy Police have confirmed.

A SINGLE woman is convinced her coupled-up friends cannot wait to hear the latest instalment of the crazy rollercoaster that is her love life.

CHRISTMAS is coming and capitalism demands tribute, so it’s time for parents to dig deep and queue for eight hours for this year’s must-have toys.

A MAN is much happier after getting a well-paid job on a dubious survey into the nation’s ‘wellbeing’, he has revealed.

A COUPLE who moved from London to Bristol are talking as if they’ve done something extremely brave.

PEOPLE who have already finished their Christmas shopping have been told that they are the ones who are somehow deficient.

A WOMAN is attempting to get away with being a bellend by claiming it’s because she is a Gemini, it has emerged.