Society

TEACHERS at a primary school are sad to see yet another middle-class child who has been given a ridiculous name.  

NO ONE can avoid getting older, but you can pretend to be 25 when you’re in your mid-40s and beyond. So which desperate, embarrassing measures are you opting for?

A WOMAN does not think her children are destined for greatness and will just be glad if they are not twats.

A STUDENT has announced that she will be spending the next two-and-a-half months completing three full years of work, as planned.

A RECORD number of embarrassed British people are pretending to be foreign.

DICTIONARIES have admitted defeat and announced that from now on ‘lose’ will be spelt ‘loose’.  

THE high price of lattes and mochas is causing Britons to ‘pre-load’ on coffee at home before going to cafes.  

DO you find yourself losing arguments due to being wrong or thick? Just follow our guide and pretend you’ve emerged victorious.  

A FAMILY is trying to work out why none of them want to touch the hard-boiled sweets in a bowl at their gran’s house.

A WOMAN committed to finding a deeper meaning in life does so in extreme luxury with numerous trips to exotic places, it has emerged.