Society

A 45-YEAR-OLD 'steampunk' cannot understand why his friends no longer seem as committed to Victorian-themed sci-fi roleplay.

THE Conservatives have jumped eight points in the polls after tackling the crucial issue of 25-to-30-year-olds’ daytime train fares.

A WOMAN struggling to dunk a biscuit has finally defeated it with a bigger mug.

A BOSS has explained his non-sexist approach to a female worker while staring directly at her chest.

AN OLD bearded man, who was around in the 60s but didn’t do any murders, has died.

A SUCCESSFUL couple have put it all down to luck while also not wanting you to believe that.

A QUEUE of Londoners don’t even know what bullshit they are lining up for, they have confirmed.

YOUNG people desperately need help buying their own home but anyone over 30 can just suck it, society has decided.

A MIDDLE class man refers to his food shopping as 'sourcing ingredients' as opposed to ‘going to the shops’, it has emerged.

A DOG is absurdly optimistic that his owner shifting slightly on the sofa means a long, exciting walk is imminent.