Society

A NORTHERN man on holiday thinks that ill feeling about the English does not apply to him

A MAN who has never donated money to charity has been proven right by the Oxfam sex scandal, he has confirmed.

A MAN who assumed a magical fairy had been changing the toilet roll was stunned to discover she does not exist.

A SCHOOL’S self-appointed cool teacher is insisting he has no ill feeling whatsoever towards a slightly cooler new teacher.

THE only reason people under 30 use Facebook is to monitor their parents' mid-life crises, it has emerged.

ALMOST every adult is still a little bit afraid the toilet monster might be real, it has been confirmed.

FIRST-time travellers up north will be helped to prepare themselves before leaving the railway station.

A POTHOLE is ‘100 percent certain’ an increase in council tax will have no effect on it whatsoever.

WOMEN are finally able to eat crisps with their delicate lady mouths thanks to the launch of a female-friendly version of the popular snack.