Society

BRITAIN’S highest-ranking boy racer council will this weekend decide whether Mazdas are cool.

SCHOOL closures have turned World Book Day into World Shut Up And Put Something Else On Netflix I’m Trying To Work Day, parents have confirmed.

SNOWBOUND workers across Britain have encountered the Jeremy Kyle Show for the very first time.

SCIENTISTS have revealed the only baby name it is still safe to laugh at.

A WARPED individual habitually makes cups of tea in a microwave, it has been confirmed.

A MAN has convinced himself a woman fancies him based on extremely flimsy evidence.

THE UK has concluded that, based on Boris Johnson and other Old Etonians, the supposedly elite school is actually turning out thick twats.

A COUPLE who bought a house in an affordable-but-shit area are trying to convince themselves it’s great.

A CHILD described as ‘cheeky’ is actually a menace to everyone around him, it has been confirmed.

A NEW mum's entire life has been taken over by a Whatsapp group about baby buggies, it has emerged.