Society

A DAD has helpfully given his son all the wrong answers to his homework.

SELF-RIGHTEOUS Facebook refusers are really loving this current data hoo-ha, it has been confirmed.

A DOG allowed into a trendy coffee shop would much rather be in a carpeted pub listening to workmen’s dirty anecdotes, it has emerged.  

A FATHER-TO-BE is choosing a baby buggy as if he is planning to take it on a six-day endurance marathon through the Cairngorms. 

A MAN who has been leafleting for Labour campaign group Momentum is convinced he’s going to ‘dismantle the system from the inside’.

BREXITERS love intricate trade negotiations and definitely did not vote in a mindless patriotic frenzy, they have confirmed.

A WARHAMMER dwarf has been struggling to make conversation after being mistakenly tidied away in the same shoebox as the Bear Family of Sylvania.

A WELL-PAID worker has admitted his job essentially consists of him just formatting Word documents, it’s been revealed.

A MAN who keeps talking about ‘living in the present’ is actually just really fucking skint, it has been confirmed.

THE doorway is the best place to stand so that you block everyone's exit, according to toddlers.