Society

THE Easter weekend is looking like being a real pain in the arse for most people.

MIDDLE class parents have expressed concern at the lack of dark chocolate Easter eggs for their children's refined palates.

AN OBNOXIOUS hipster prick barman's band is thankfully really shit, it has emerged.

A GROUP of diners are pretending to be unfazed by the discovery that they are at an incredibly expensive restaurant.

A MAN keeps telling people they should put aside their differences over Brexit like he is Gandhi or something, it has emerged.

CHRISTIANS avoid doubts about the implausible parts of their faith by simply not thinking about them, they have revealed.

A NEW couple have congratulated themselves on having a totally unique bond that is quite unlike any relationship that has previously existed.

A MAN with a wife and children has chosen a photo of his beloved dog for his phone screensaver.

THE little piggy who stayed at home has had his Universal Credit benefits stopped, it has been confirmed.

FACEBOOK is still refusing to offer its users the relationship status of being 'married to the sea', it has been confirmed.