Society

A WOMAN is choosing a tattoo design that is deeply meaningful on a personal level from the ones pinned up on the wall of the tattooists.

A BREXIT voter has announced that the day he can queue for four hours while clutching a proper British passport will be proudest moment of his life.

UK holidaymakers have confirmed that looking in estate agents’ windows to see what they could afford in the area is the highlight of every trip.

THE worst men on Tinder can be easily identified with the use of a simple two word phrase in their profile, sociologists have revealed.

RESEARCHERS have found that rather than go to all the trouble of explaining to some other dick how to do it you might as well do it your f**king self.

A LONDONER is perfectly happy about always living in flats surrounded by total bastard neighbours, he has claimed.

A MAN has been able to get sugar into his tea without spilling it across every conceivable surface in the area.

A WOMAN has insisted that it is definitely not a competition and she simply 'enjoys' being really good at things.

A BREXIT supporter is  sick of being called stupid despite continually saying stupid things, it has emerged.

A COUPLE has been torn apart by a cynical act of Pringles-based selfishness, it has emerged.