Society

A WOMAN who adds ‘LOL!’ to the end of all communication thinks she can get away with being completely vile.

A FRIEND is celebrating his birthday near his flat in Stoke Newington, despite it being miles from where everyone else lives.

A GROUP of Burnley factory workers have agreed that nobody on £70,000 a year can really be considered ‘rich’.

VOTERS aged 18 to 24 have been told to make sure to cast their moronic, misguided votes in the general election.

POLITICAL experts believe the timing of the snap election proves that the shit will have seriously hit the fan by May 2020.

GETTING drunk while looking after your children is fine if you are drinking Chablis rather than WKD, it has been confirmed.

MODERN Easter eggs are barely two disappointing mouthfuls, adults have complained.

A MAN who works in a high level city job and gets four hours sleep a night considers his life a success.

BEING able to get legitimately drunk at 7am is the best part of going abroad, it has been confirmed.

A MAN thinks he deserves recognition and respect for not being an obvious misogynist.