Society

A BASTARD cat has shown up his owner by refusing to do that adorable thing he does every day.

A STUDENT who received top A-Level results plans to work them into every conversation she has for the rest of her life.

A COUPLE are working hard on their shocked faces in preparation for their son’s inevitably shitty A-level results.

WHITE supremacists are ‘commemorating the past’ by refusing to leave their parents’ basements.

A LARGE bell in central London has caused uproar among the usual dicks.

A GROUP of women are being forced to act as 'maids' to a power-mad lunatic.

BUS passengers have been speculating on a breach of protocol after two bus drivers failed to wave to each other.

AN old man who has been drinking in the same pub for years still refuses to say hello to fellow patrons, it has been confirmed.

A COUPLE with vague socialist ideas and a fondness for gloomy crime dramas think they are actually becoming Swedish.

A FACEBOOK user has written a passionate rant against the evils of materialism on his brand new iPhone.