Society

CHRISTIANS avoid doubts about the implausible parts of their faith by simply not thinking about them, they have revealed.

A NEW couple have congratulated themselves on having a totally unique bond that is quite unlike any relationship that has previously existed.

A MAN with a wife and children has chosen a photo of his beloved dog for his phone screensaver.

THE little piggy who stayed at home has had his Universal Credit benefits stopped, it has been confirmed.

FACEBOOK is still refusing to offer its users the relationship status of being 'married to the sea', it has been confirmed.

A GROUP of middle-aged dads are to spend an evening remembering just how off their tits they got in their younger years.

FAMILIES who take term-time holidays risk a fine if they show off about it on social media, it has been confirmed.

A MAN who wants to return to pre-decimal currency after Brexit is too thick to understand the confusing system, it has emerged.

PEOPLE who prefer to avoid children are concerned that they will be absolutely everywhere next week.

A WOMAN offended at Kendall Jenner’s Pepsi advert has sworn to boycott the drink until the moment it becomes inconvenient.