Society

THOUSANDS of uncool GCSE students will be forced to endure an embarrassing meal with their parents, it has emerged.

A BORING couple are constantly buggering about making pointless alterations to their house.

EVEN the hardest of parents are developing a blank gaze during the latter stages of the school holidays, it has emerged.

A MAN who regularly gets into fights while drunk would never get involved with dangerous drugs like cannabis, he has announced.

A NON-WEIRD driving instructor  has been discovered in the UK.

A PROFESSIONAL Northerner's credibility is in tatters after he was caught drinking wine.

A TEENAGER is so talented that going to university would be a waste of time for him, he has announced.

MOST people just want to write 'so?’ underneath every status update they see on Facebook, it has been confirmed.

THESE girls are whispering about you, it has been claimed.

FRIENDS of an expectant couple are unsure how to tell them that all their baby names are utterly absurd.