Society

AN ARSEHOLE has claimed that every terrorist attack of the last 20 years was a 'false flag' perpetrated by the government.

1. It, obviously, has the best bands. Sorry Glasgow and wherever else bands come from.  

THERESA May has confirmed the army will increasingly ‘stand in’ for the police while reassuring Britain that it is 'totally fine'.

LEVELS of kindness and co-operation across the UK have been raised to their highest point in recent history.

THE delightful antics of a wonderful, talented child have pleased everyone on a crowded train.

A WOMAN has ruined her day by Googling an old school friend and discovering she has become a surgeon.

CUSTOMERS at a fancy cocktail bar are hoping against home that the smug ‘mixologist’ juggling bottles behind it breaks something soon.

CHILDREN have confirmed that if they are not asked if they need a wee-wee every minute-and-a-half, they will wet themselves.

A PUB landlord has confirmed that a suspicious pint of ale is meant to taste and smell absolutely vile.

AN INSUFFERABLE twat who argues the toss about every minor thing regularly gets 15 per cent off in shops, he has confirmed.