Society

A COMMITTED atheist who has blocked his friend’s toilet has called upon the mercy of the Lord, he has admitted.

A GROUP of office workers is genuinely puzzled by the relationship success of a complete dickwad they work with, it has emerged. 

AN EASYGOING woman has confirmed she likes everyone except other women of roughly the same age.

A RESTAURANT table of ten is terrified about which wine their rich friend is planning to order.

A WAITROSE shopper kicked right off because the supermarket ran out of her favourite Peter's Yard Artisan Crispbreads.

A CORBYN fan has announced plans to get over how amazingly right he was within the next 18 months.

A SINGLE mother is celebrating the end of austerity and is excited for the fun times ahead.

MEMBERS of a family keep giving each other praise for basically just existing.

A NEW couple have experimented with quirky pet names for each other that are absolutely dreadful.

BRITONS are relieved to discover that life will continue in its everyday state of raging incompetence and chaos.