Society

A LUCKY bastard of a schoolkid has got art this morning, then drama and then he's got history after lunch.

THE first class sections of regional trains do not feature the opulent luxury and fine dining experiences of the Orient Express, a man has found.

LONDON is today in the grip of normality, with millions having their breakfast then going to work.

GOOGLE has introduced a new tool for users who keep doing searches about whether their partner is really 'the one'.

AN IRISHMAN working in the UK is praying colleagues will end an embarrassingly ill-informed chat about Ireland, it has emerged.

A MAN who keeps saying he sees himself as European is rapidly becoming very annoying, everyone has decided.

A MAN cannot understand how his girlfriend returns from a 'quick wee' with several phone numbers and someone's life story.

A VICTORIOUS Brexiter is still something of a loser in the overall sense, it has emerged.

A FATHER has been forced to confront the fact that putting decking in his garden was a mistake.

A WOMAN from Tower Hamlets has absolutely no idea how to get around Mayfair, it has emerged.