Society

A COUPLE who thought giving each other massages would be ‘sexy’ have been left traumatised by the experience.

A MAN has invited his next-door neighbours to a party he is holding tomorrow night on condition that they do not attend.

A DAYDREAMING office worker has been caught mouthing ‘They’ll see, oh yes they’ll all see’ to herself.

A FLASHY couple are expecting twins just to go one better than their friends with only one baby.

A TRAIN operator cannot believe the fucking nerve of a passenger who is demanding a refund because his train was 90 minutes late.

A COUPLE who claim to enjoy spending long periods of time in silence are quite obviously doomed, it has emerged.

A TIRESOME friend wants you to take two seconds to help yet another persecuted group of people and or animals.

A COUPLE planning to 'go up the Shard' later are probably talking about a sex thing, it has been claimed.

A MAN has had the unoriginal idea of making life in prison harsher in ways that would undoubtedly just cause more problems.

A MAN has given his girlfriend an Easter egg after getting his dates mixed up.