Society

A MAN who decided to stay in has missed the greatest night out in the history of nights out, it has emerged.

A GROWN-UP woman has admitted she is paying to learn how to do handstands.

PLACES that sell 'street food' do not have 'street prices', it has been confirmed.

AN 79-YEAR-OLD in Tesco’s reduced section will end you if you get between her and a 10p pack of sausage rolls, she has confirmed.

THE last remaining all-in-one adult garment in the UK has been blown to smithereens in front of a cheering crowd.

A GROUP of American tourists claims everything they have seen in Swindon is magical like the world of Harry Potter.

A MAN has let neighbours know he is not to be trifled with by giving his home internet a needlessly aggressive name.

A SELF-EMPLOYED builder would face a significant tax increase if he didn’t always ask customers for cash.

AN AVERAGE family with two children has told the media to get its nose out of their personal finances.

DRIVERS of Jaguar cars can become distracted by thoughts of intense self-love, it has emerged.