Society

THE government has told parents that if they really cared about their children's education they would found their own free school.

A MAN who spends a lot of time in a cool cafe is desperate to become friends with its staff, it has emerged.

A DOG has been dismayed to realise that he is being used as a way for an average-looking man to attract women, it has emerged.

AN AFFLUENT couple have created an amazing house in which to do tedious things with their awful friends, they have revealed.

A MAN’S friends have been thrown into crisis after it emerged that his new girlfriend is ‘against drugs’.

A ‘MOCKTAIL’ drinker has admitted she secretly adds a ‘great deal of vodka’ to her absurd, teetotal concoctions.

A MAN who shares feminist memes online cannot work out why women behave 'like such rude bitches'.

ONE policeman could adequately cover the whole UK if they put their back into it, the home secretary has said.

A NEW bar will be called 'Pretentious Shithole' after the owners realised that is what most people will call it anyway.

ALL them foreign buggers is coming over here and having a bit of how's your father with our lovely poppets, according to the Conservative Party.