Society

IRRESPONSIBLE Britons are running up huge debts to live in buildings and buy food.

A COUPLE have completely filled their flat with nauseating framed pictures of themselves being in love.

YOUR kids are not in fucking school because of some teacher training bullshit, it has emerged. 

A COUPLE are having a baby to avoid disappointing the rest of society, they have announced.

SOUTHERN Rail has greeted commuters returning from the Christmas break with a menacing cackle.

WORKERS have woken from vivid, awful nightmares about offices to find it is all real.

ONLY two things this year could properly be classed as ‘good’, it has been confirmed.

EXPERTS have confirmed that waiting until after the Queen’s Speech to open presents is total bullshit.

A MAN has unwittingly laid the groundwork for a disastrous Christmas lunch by forgetting to say that his girlfriend is vegan.

SOME bollocks about bin collections, it has been confirmed.