Society

THE UK towns with the best 'quality of life' all sound like stuck-up smugholes with a 'green' and an expensive butcher, Britain has agreed.

A PET dog cannot wait for his owners to come back so they can see how he has remodelled the house.

FOLLOWING Ghostbusters and Stranger Things, the latest 80s revival is Nathan Muir’s relationship with Nikki Hollis from 1988.

BRITAIN’S elderly will be cared for by their china dogs, milkmaids and ladies in fancy hats, the government has announced.

A LONDONER is desperate to hear more about the provinces after learning of ‘life forms beyond the M25’.

A MAN who feels immigration is negatively affecting his life cannot give a single concrete example of how, he has revealed.

A NEWLY adopted dog is realising he has been brought in to prevent a break-up.

A PAIR of deranged maniacs are going to take their children to a music festival while their friends stand back and let them.

FIRST-TIME parents have expressed their gratitude for the deluge of completely incompatible, hysterical advice.

A WOMAN who keeps voting for Conservative governments cannot understand why her local services are terrible.