Society

A COUPLE are planning to spend tonight investigating whether it is possible to get seriously drunk on Baileys alone.

OFFICE workers across Britain have confirmed that absolutely nothing of consequence will be done next week.

A MAN has instantly regretted taking an Ecstasy pill at his work Christmas party, it has emerged.

BREXITERS believe the weird local grievances that made them vote Leave will be addressed in the government’s plans.

AWKWARDNESS has descended on an office after a man bought an expensive Christmas gift for a female colleague, it has emerged.

MOTHERS have demanded to know what time you are coming around on Christmas Day, to the nearest four minutes.

A MAN has been left furious after imagining a confrontation he might have if a hotel room was disappointing.

A MAN whose main activity is watching television is concerned that minorities are not taking an active role in British life, he has revealed.

AN OLD, white, powerful man is preparing to decide whether you have behaved in a fashion he deems appropriate.

BRITAIN’S Supreme Court justices have today begun an historic four day process of trying not to look bored shitless.